Soap is not a condiment
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
