I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize