Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
