Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
