the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
