he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
