Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
