spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
