awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
