I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
