I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
