Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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