im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
