that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
