i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
