two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
