Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
