I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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