Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
