Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
