Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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(785): View more from Kansas

You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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(925): View more from California

FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow

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(315): View more from New York

I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.

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