Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
