why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
