Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
