I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
