She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
