You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
