his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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