Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize