12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
