So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
