It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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