This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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