Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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