I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
