So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
