sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
