she was so not down for the gang bang
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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