I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
