I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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