Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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