I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
