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That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
