You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
