summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
being pregnant is like rehab
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
