You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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