well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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