he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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