dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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