Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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